(1) Comfortable bed with feather pillows (or a choice of pillows including feather). Duvet not blankets, no top sheet (just change the duvet cover for each guest). I need to regulate my temperature by sticking a foot out.
(2) TV should have instructions and some kind of guide so you can tell what is on. Include a wide range of good channels, not just the free rubbish ones.
(3) Coffee making facilities should come as standard. A kettle and teabags would be even better, but only if you can get good teabags (imported from UK).
(4) I want proper keys with proper locks, each attached to a large leather tag with a number and the hotel's address so they can be posted back if left behind, just like we had in the seventies. Plastic key cards should be avoided, particularly if they are likely to unprogram themselves if they are put in a pocket with a mobile phone. How sophisticated do you expect us to be at maintaining complete mobile phone separation throughout the day? It would be nice to stay in an hotel for once without having to go down to reception to have my key card redone. (And any door entry system that gives the guest an electric shock every time the door is locked? Not good. You know who you are.)
(5) Minibars should be half full at most: this is because I won't ever drink anything from it (it was drilled into me from such a young age that I should never touch the minibar in hotel rooms that it is now completely taboo for me, along with using the telephone). It is also to leave room in the fridge for any milk or other foods I want to store there so I can avoid paying full price in the restaurant. Come to think of it - you should be providing the milk, sachets of non-dairy creamer may be acceptable for Americans, but some of us have standards. "Half and half" sounds like a compromise, because it is.
(6) Wifi should just be free, even the fast speeds. I don't expect to pay extra for hot water or bed sheets, nor should I pay for WiFi, this is the twenty-first century. Pricing structures should not be based on that innkeeper from Les Mis. It's funny on stage, but not in real life.
(7) There should be at least two accessible sockets for charging phones and computers. See earlier comments about the century we are living in. Rummaging behind the TV is not acceptable. Note also that if you are going to provide an iron (and you should) there needs to be a socket for it, preferably near where the ironing board is kept.
(8) Useless decorative bed cushions. Surely you could check the sex of the people making reservations and instruct housekeeping to only put these out for women? Men don't like them, fact. They only have to be dumped on the floor before the bed can be used.
(9) There should be a strong overhead light which is easily switched on and off from the bed. Yes, subtle lighting is all very well, lamps and illuminated headboards and what have you, but when it is time to pack up and go we need to be able to see clearly that we haven't left a pair of pants behind.
(10) We need a return to the days when every hotel room had a desk drawer of stationary. Not because we are going to write letters, but because the envelopes are handy for keeping receipts in for when we do our expense claims back home.
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