Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Beginning of the end...

This post feels like the last chapter of "Lord of the Rings".  You know, when the hobbits have defeated the forces of evil and they all pack up and go home?  It is just as long a journey over the Misty Mountains and whatnot, but it all gets skimmed over pretty quickly on the way back because the story is finished really.  There's a bit of a subplot with Saruman in the Shire, in the book at least: Peter Jackson, more recently known for padding out a short book into three long films, even cuts that bit out in his final edit, much to Christopher Lee's chagrin.

That's what this week has been really, a long journey home which I want to skim over as quickly as possible (and obviously I'll be annoyed if I get home to find a Saruman-like figure has taken over my house).  Here's the edited highlights:

Sunday: 8 hour train journey to Boston.  Sat next to a man who was barely able to walk due to medical negligence; he was unable to sue his doctors because the hospital was a charity and apparently you can't sue charities for more than a certain amount in the USA.  Went to a very high church Advent Carol Service that evening, pleasant enough music but needed more drums and flags.  I managed to resist the urge to stick my hands in the air during "Lo, he comes".  Saw Cheers bar.

Monday: Worked in Boston office.  Didn't see much of Boston, there wasn't time.  I would have liked to have gone to the famous tea party as I am gasping for a decent cuppa, but I don't think they do them now they've gone all independent.  Their loss.

Tuesday: Travelled to New Haven Connecticut.  Met a client for a drink and a chat.  Travelling through New England the song going through my head was of course "New England" by Kirsty McColl.  When the phone didn't ring, I knew it wasn't you...  Travelled on to New York and met a feisty old lady from Yonkers on the train (who sounds like she ought to be in a limerick with house chestnuts).  Had Kosher Pizza for tea in a room where almost everybody else wore a black homburg (very nice).

Wednesday: did New York in a day.  Walked the High-line, travelled on the Staten Island ferry, saw the Statue of Liberty, visited Ground Zero, rode the subway, cycled in Central Park.  Then caught the train to New Jersey where I now am: yet another hotel, serving same old food, charging through nose for Wi-Fi.  Surprisingly the song in my head today was never Frank Sinatra, I must have got him out of my system in Chicago.  No, it was a combination of (1) Ella Fitzgerald turning Manhattan into an isle of joy (she was clearly never accosted by a man dressed as Mickey Mouse whilst fighting through crowds of shoppers), (2) Lullaby of Broadway (didn't seem particularly soothing to me, mind), (3) Billy Joel singing about the Staten Island Ferry on the Cold Spring Harbor album and mainly (4) I'm leaving tomorrow by Jimmy Somerville (not, as my daughter once did, to be confused with Jimmy Saville).  In the absence of a map or a decent sense of direction I also clung to a musical mantra "the Bronx is up and the Battery's down". 

Ground Zero (or the 9/11 Memorial) is worth a mention.  The site is not finished yet, so there is a lot of fencing and scaffolding around parts of it, and access to the memorial itself is via a lengthy security screening process, not unlike airport check-in.  The Memorial consists of two square pools of cascading water, each the size and shape of one of the original two towers  (nothing to do with Lord of the Rings this time, please keep up).  The sheer scale of it is impressive, and the shockingly high number of names carved around the sides of the pools really brings home the scale of the tragedy.  So I was genuinely moved, and yet at the same time I didn't like the place much.  You may think I have no business forming such an opinion, and you may be right, but to me it seems odd to commemorate people who fell to their deaths from such a great height with a cascading water feature, especially when the water falls with quite some force into the pool, and when each pool is continuously pouring water down a great central opening that gives the impression of being bottomless.  It was like a giant plug hole sucking all the water down, which frankly gave me the chills.  I don't think it's a comforting place for grieving relatives to visit, more like the set for a modern production of Don Giovanni.

So I really am leaving tomorrow, as the song says, I've had all I can take.  Meeting more colleagues in our New Jersey office tomorrow morning and then catching a plane.  Here are some final thoughts on America then:

(1) I still don't know why they all wear vests.

(2) I never want to see non-dairy creamer ever again.  Of all the food horrors here (and there are many) it is one of the worst.  Incidentally, here on the east coast they say "skim milk", but in California always seem to say "fat free".  In neither place do they make it available in hotel rooms!

(3) I've decided that my favourite Americanism is "drip coffee" - it is succinct and readily understood, we should adopt it in the UK.

(4) I realised this week that I cannot remember a time when I didn't know that the World Dryer Corporation was based in Berkeley Illinois.  I have obviously been reading whilst drying my hands all my life.  I still prefer Dysons.

(5) The sound of African American women arguing is one of the least attractive sounds in the world.  Lord knows why it seems to feature on Daytime TV so much in the UK. 

(6) Apparently the reason the Americans have not adopted chip and pin technology is down to the banks who are afraid it will discourage use of credit cards which would mean less profit for them.  Instead retailers require a signature which is never ever checked against the card itself.

(7) I now have a preferred bedroom temperature - it is precisely 66 degrees Fahrenheit.

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